Sunday, November 15, 2009


This has to be the best children’s show currently on Cartoon Network. If Sponge Bob and Ren and Stimpy had what the French lovingly refer to as a ménage a trios (a sausage sandwich, to you Philistines out there), The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack would be the resulting offspring. Not to say this show is without faults (some episodes are slower than grandma's bowels), but compared to the other crap being played on Cartoon Network, this is cartoon gold.
The show centers around some simp kid named Flapjack, and the cracked-out sugar addict Captain K'nuckles, and their never-ending search for the fabled Candied Island. Although the premise of hunting for Candied Island is heavily plugged as the show’s focus during it’s stop-motion animated opening credits (via a song very similar to that of the 1930's folk song "big Rock Candy Mountain"), most of the time Flapjack and K’nuckles just seem to fart around Stormalong Harbor looking for candy and getting dick deep into trouble, while being chastised by Bubbie the talking whale (who serves as Flapjack’s adopted mother, home and ship; yeah, it’s pretty fucking out there).

"Yeah, this looks like a safe place to camp for the night."

The shows humor is a mixture of slapstick and awkward creepiness. It almost becomes macabre at times (the Tee Hee Tummy Tums and Gone Wishin’ episodes are perfect examples of this). It’s great because it gives the show a depth that adults (or at least ones with a sick sense of humor, like me) can appreciate. Another strange aspect (which I’m really quite fond of) is the show’s treatment of candy, it seems to have alcohol-like effects on the residents of Stormalong; including intoxication upon heavy consumption, hangovers and dependence (Captain K'nuckles always has a flask of maple syrup in his possession).
Flapjack and K’nuckles aren’t the only ones to inhabit this whacked-out world though. Stormalong Harbor is home to a motley crew of degenerates like: the perverted candy-philiac Peppermint Larry and his inanimate candied-wife (aptly named Candy Wife; this has to be the only kid's show where one of the characters is married to a sex doll), and the "career" confused Dr. Barber (yes, he is a barber and a doctor; can you say switch-hitter?), not to mention a slew of other freaks.
So if you enjoy wish-granting-candied-mermaid-tears as much as me, make sure to check out the Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack, it gets 4 out of 5 beers!
Also look for Season 1, Volume 1, now in stores.

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