REVIEW ONE
Disney / Release 1940 / 88 Minutes / G /
First of all, I just wanna say this movie looks fucking awesome on blue-ray. The boys at Disney out did themselves. It makes the old DVD version look like grandma’s incoherent scribblings at the nursing home. The new picture is now sharper than a ginsu knife. Having said that, I’m not gonna waste a lot of time setting up the plot, because I’m pretty sure we all know it (wooden boy lies, nose grows, cricket, whale, blah blah blah). And if you don’t know the plot; you must be a communist or something.
So, lets get to the good stuff. This is a great flick for fathers to watch with their youngsters. There is plenty for both to love. Not only is there the obligatory sappy songs ("When You Wish Upon A Star" give me a fucking break!) and lame characters (e.g. Geppetto) that drive kids wild, but there are some really dark themes running through this film that a miscreant like me can appreciate. First of all, off the top of my head, I would have to say this movie has more villains than any other Disney movie to date. It’s a virtual rogues’ gallery, we got:
Honest John and Gideon--Two shit bags that find pleasure in wearing capes and selling kids into slavery, repeatedly.
Strombolli--This walking stereotype and child labor lawbreaker would be more at home on the Sopranos eating gabagool.
The Coach driver--He’s by far the worst, he looks like Santa’s evil brother, not to mention he gives me the willies.
So, lets get to the good stuff. This is a great flick for fathers to watch with their youngsters. There is plenty for both to love. Not only is there the obligatory sappy songs ("When You Wish Upon A Star" give me a fucking break!) and lame characters (e.g. Geppetto) that drive kids wild, but there are some really dark themes running through this film that a miscreant like me can appreciate. First of all, off the top of my head, I would have to say this movie has more villains than any other Disney movie to date. It’s a virtual rogues’ gallery, we got:
Honest John and Gideon--Two shit bags that find pleasure in wearing capes and selling kids into slavery, repeatedly.
Strombolli--This walking stereotype and child labor lawbreaker would be more at home on the Sopranos eating gabagool.
The Coach driver--He’s by far the worst, he looks like Santa’s evil brother, not to mention he gives me the willies.
And last, but not least.
Monstro the Whale--Think jaws sans the charm.
What is that? Five bad guys? Not to mention, the cuckoo clock that promotes child abuse (pay attention early in the movie when all the clocks go off in Geppetto’s workshop) and children violently morphing into donkeys. That’s gotta be some kind of record.
Which brings me to my favorite part of the movie, Pleasure Island! Does this place exist? If so, where can I buy tickets? It’s gotta carnival, smokes, booze, billiards, even a house you can bust up when you go into a drunken rage. Sounds like Madi Gras. It’s my nirvana. So, overall I would have to give this movie Pater’s highest honor, five beers!
Monstro the Whale--Think jaws sans the charm.
What is that? Five bad guys? Not to mention, the cuckoo clock that promotes child abuse (pay attention early in the movie when all the clocks go off in Geppetto’s workshop) and children violently morphing into donkeys. That’s gotta be some kind of record.
Which brings me to my favorite part of the movie, Pleasure Island! Does this place exist? If so, where can I buy tickets? It’s gotta carnival, smokes, booze, billiards, even a house you can bust up when you go into a drunken rage. Sounds like Madi Gras. It’s my nirvana. So, overall I would have to give this movie Pater’s highest honor, five beers!
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